THE PARADOX OF DIVERGENCE: ROLE MODEL OR PRICK

 I let my eyes fall on this story that appeared in a local newspaper some time ago:

Gentleman guy comes to the library every day. He wishes the clerk “Good Morning” as he passes him by toward the shelves. Only, the clerk doesn’t return the salutation, instead, he ignores the guy every single time. So each day this scene is repeated, guy wishes the clerk a good morning warmly, but the clerk simply shuns him. A lady who occasionally visits the library starts noticing this and gets annoyed at the impolite clerk. She asks gentleman guy one day, “Why do you keep wishing this jerk good morning when he’s being such an asshole, ignoring you?” And guy replies, “How the other person responds to me doesn’t dictate how I respond to them.”

 

What a fantastic catchphrase! The quote that captures the spirit of the age! I found myself agreeing to give away an award or knighthood to this gallant knight of shining armour, this gentleman guy who never got fazed or lost his composure at the snobbishness of the clerk, and all such sceptical bores of his kind?

As the curtain falls, I’m imagining that the lady falls for him then and there, and the head librarian is nodding his head approvingly in the background. Poetic justice! 

The quote stuck to my mind, plus the role model gentleman guy and the sulking slovenly clerk, who certainly look somewhat like this:

     

                              

 

But then I wondered what made the gentleman guy so holy? Why would this guy keep up with the "Good Morning" act when he knows it's not going to be reciprocated? Let's view him as a self-righteous snob who's enjoying the pomp of wishing "Good Morning" each day. Now consider the bad guy in the story for a second. I know nothing about the clerk except that he doesn’t wish the guy good morning. The rest of the connotations, the sulking and avoiding eye contact, maybe even the balding head and stooping frame that springs into my mind as I regard him are add-ons by my imagination, painting him as the typical jealous and cynical bad guy.

I have nothing against gentleman guy. Only, the quote, “How the other person responds to me don’t dictate how I respond to them” cuts both ways. Gentleman guy likes to keep wishing “Good Morning” in his pompous voice to the clerk and all folks around maybe, but what if the clerk’s got some weird personal reason to not wish him back? Maybe he sees “Good Morning” as an imperialist British tradition and is fighting against it with his silent oppression. Or he doesn’t like speaking up with the visitors and only likes to nod curtly. Maybe he’s on a vow of silence; unlikely, but I don’t know.

But the conclusion remains that unless you acquaint yourself with the clerk and ask him why he’s acting so, he’s doomed to be the bad guy on first impression. And most people ain’t really going to take the pain as to wonder why he keeps acting like a prick. But gentleman guy has the unfair advantage here of being approved of his actions as praiseworthy and exemplar. He ain't got to explain shit most likely.

Both of them are going out of their way and being divergent( holding up personal values that raise eyebrows in society) in keeping up this rather pointless charade, and possibly for quite egotistic reasons. Both are holding up their ideals and vanity. But the reception of the gentleman guy in the eyes of passers-by, who takes the pain to wish this unresponsive and impolite clerk every day persistently, is very different from that of the clerk’s, who is as adamant as he is at not responding back to him. And it will be the clerk who will have to face judgement every day from all folks present at the time, unless if he goes vulnerable and admits his personal reasons for denying the guy the honour.

Don’t it seem that in a world where no one really cares enough to find out reasons for other people’s inclinations and motives, where you take the information as it is presented at face value, the clerk is doomed to be the bad guy unless he explains the whole situation and make amends with gentleman guy, or change his ways and start saluting folks as society demands him to? He can’t say the badass claim gentleman guy pulled out: “How the other person responds to me don’t dictate how I respond to them.” Picture the clerk saying this. That’s such an arrogant thing to say, soon as he says it.

The idea is that the liberty of walking offstage with the above punchline and consequent applause resides solely with the gentleman guy. The clerk will be looked at as an insensitive asshole for saying the same line. To wish Good Morning seems to be a very agreeable thing to do, to not return it heresy. There seems to be a checklist, a manifesto of good and bad things, ideas that fit the culture and zeitgeist, that you need to pass if you’re trying to assert your ideals. The guy who’s got the right ideals, that which society and culture see as right and agreeable, has an easy time, and gets lauded for his efforts while the divergent who is holding up values that are contrary to societal norms will have a tough time-saving face and will always be forced to explain his reasons.

The paradox then is that to diverge and self-assert seems also to require you to conform, in a sense.

Perhaps I’m making a mountain out of this little story of a molehill, possibly because I felt that most people who might have read this story in the newspaper all that time ago sided against the clerk. Hmm, that is likely. After all, Prophet stands with the oppressed and few... 

Or maybe he trying to diverge from the mainstream view to be cool and to actually have something to type away as wisdom? Is that what I find you thinking? Heresy!